This past Monday in the late morning, I ventured out in search of 2 things: jeans and a new purse. Simple, right? Hm. In concept, yes. In execution, no so much. First of all, I am not one of those girls who owns many, many pairs of jeans in different styles, colors, fittings, etc. I usually own one, maybe two, pairs of jeans at a time. I’m very loyal to my jeans. Once one pair starts to show signs of wear, I buy another pair from the same store in the same style, same color, same size, everything. Why fix what’s not broken, right? Well, that formula stops being effective when the store CHANGES the style, sizing, or whatever. Stupid Old Navy. So, what’s a girl to do but search out for a new loyalty? Ugh. I dread it. Really. You know how it is. They’re too short, too wide, too high in the waist, too already “worn”, they make my butt look big, my knees too knobby, my hips too wide. There are a thousand different reasons with one result: the wrong fit. At this point, I’m looking forward to those shiny silver jumpsuits everyone supposedly wears in the future.
So, it seems this time around, I waited a little too long to order a new pair of jeans (Old Navy does carry a long inseam in the stores in my size, therefore I usually order them online, which is fine by me). When I finally did, I ordered what I thought was the same pair I already owned. Haha! Ahem, apparently not. They arrived and I tried them on. La dee da. Soooo not the same. Wrong color (too dark), wrong size (that was my bad), and the wrong style. Since when did the “flare” style remain fitted until mid-calf? Um… never. Back to the store you go, stupid pants. They refund me everything except the $7 for shipping. Whatever. And yet, I still remain pants-less.
Days go by, my pants being held together with iron-on patches and my desperate prayers that I won’t bend over one day and expose my underpants in public. Or in private because THEY’RE MY ONLY PAIR!!!! So after much whining and avoiding, it was finally time to do it. Find new jeans. Again, ugh. Where to go? There are only so many stores that carry jeans for women with *ahem* curves. My last and, pretty much, only prayer was a store called Torrid in Fashion Place Mall. It’s like Lane Bryant except for people who have a sense of style. I kid, I kid. It’s not that bad. Torrid is more my age, though. Now, I’ve always been a little wary of that particular store because they sell a lot of items with skulls on them. No lie. Why is that fashionable, I don’t know. They also sell lingerie. Awkward. I had to give them a chance, though. I literally HAD to.
The worst thing about finding jeans at an unfamiliar store is the sizing. You never know how they relate to sizes at other stores. A 6 at one store could be an 8 at another (yeah, like I’m a 6. HAHAHA!). Anyway, that has to be established before the try-on stage, because it’s super embarrassing to yell over the door to the lady and say, “Um, this 10 isn’t working. Can I get a, um….16?” Yeah. That’s not awkward. So when the sales lady asked me what size I normally wear I told her, adding the “long” or “tall” or “freakishly tall” or whatever they call it there. She’s like, “Oh, cool. I wear the same size. I’ll just show you some of the pants I love and we’ll go from there.” Huh. Pretty good plan, actually. Once I got in the dressing room a.k.a. “the moment of truth”, I pulled on the first pair and…TA DA!!! They fit!!! It’s a freakin’ miracle!! Not only do they fit, they look pretty flattering. Pretty fantastic. Pretty perfect, actually. Second pair was a huge letdown, and so on. So…I bought the FIRST PAIR I TRIED ON! That NEVER happens!! It was weird. But good weird, you know?
On to item number 2. La purse. There’s a story there too, and I just know you’re dying to hear it! As it so happens, I am just as loyal to my purses as I am to my jeans…but they seem to last longer. And it’s harder to replace it with the same since I somehow keep getting bigger ones to suit my needs! My first gotta-have-at-all-times purse was green camo from Old Navy (shocker, I know!). It was just the right size and really cute, but didn’t really “match” with, well, any of my clothing. Ha, oh, well. I had that purse for 5 years until it seemed too small and was falling apart. I replaced it with a slightly bigger black one with white polka dots that was, no joke, $1. Seriously! One of the best purchases I’d ever made. Buuut, at some point, the zipper broke and once again, seemed too small. That one lasted about 2 years.
Onward and upward! I found one at Payless Shoesource, of all places, and it seemed perfect! The right size, cute, plain black (seemed more professional or whatever), and had a divider in the middle to contain my assorted crap. I can’t do the huge one-huge-pocket purses where everything’s mixed together. Too much chaos for me. Anyhow, this new pursed worked well for a few weeks…until the strap started to split where it was sewn together. I now know to look for purses with straps that don’t have that. You live and learn. Once the other strap started to split, I took it back with the receipt for a refund. Of course, the sales lady tried to get me to exchange it for the same purse (yeah, right) or another questionable purse of the same value. I just asked for the refund and she seemed pissed off. What? I don’t want your freakin’ purse!! Thanks anyway! Jeez.
On that same trip, I was on the search for the perfect purse! Not an easy task, since at that point I was very anal about what I wanted. Ready for my description? Mmkay. Black. Not too big, not too small. Divider in the middle. Stands up on it’s own (don’t want it to slump over). Small pockets inside and pockets outside, if possible. Fits over my shoulder. Reasonably priced. In depth, huh? Yeah. I warned you I was particular. Well, I looked in every possible store that could carry purses in Fashion Place Mall…and nothing. What?!? I was getting desperate. I had borrowed a purse from my sister and it was the basic sack kind. No pockets. Cute, but not gonna cut it. Crap! As last resort, I stopped by Shopko on Redwood Road. Jackpot! They had semi-designer purses on sale 40% off!! Score! But being me, it took me a good 45 minutes to decide. But I found one!! As close to perfect as possible. *sigh*. I hate shopping. But I love getting results! So, it was a pretty good day.
I know that was waaaayyy too long. Sorry. Hope it was at least entertaining. ; )