Thursday, February 14, 2013

To Be Honest

Hello, all. This post has been rolling around in my head for a few weeks now. Thought I'd put it in words. A while ago, I read a really good book. "Just Listen" by Sarah Dessen. I had been following her on twitter for a while and bought the book randomly sometime before that. Finally got around to reading it and her author friends online that I follow were speaking truth. It was excellent. She writes contemporary stand-alones, which I REALLY like. Sometimes I just want to read ONE BOOK and be done with it. There are sooooo many series out there, which are awesome, I know, but there's this constant anticipation of the next book and a lot of money spent in most cases. And I do read a lot of supernatural books and stuff, but it's nice to sometimes keep it more to reality. Just straight-up fiction. Sarah Dessen has written, I think, 17 books and they are all separate. Hallelujah! So far, I have only read the one and started another, but I know I'm a fan already. She's also obsessed with Good Morning, America and has an adorable daughter who looks nothing like her. She pointed that out, by the way, not me. But I digress…

So I read this book. It's really well written. Annabel is the youngest of 3 sisters and they each have their own issues to deal with.  It's when Annabel makes a new friend when her others have abandoned her that she comes into her own. This guy, Owen, seems scary on the surface but as they spend time together, Annabel sees the good in him. One of his good attributes is that he is completely honest. Not in a brutal sort of way, but he doesn't hold back. Annabel  isn't necessarily a liar, but there's a lot she doesn't say. Or she doesn't tell the whole truth. What is it they say? A lie of omission is still a lie? Yeah. There's some truth in that. 

This book really got me thinking. I can identify with Annabel sometimes. I don't think I'm a liar. I do my best to be honest, but I know I hold things back sometimes. Maybe I don't want to hurt someone's feelings or I don't want to cause contention. Both instance are warranted, but there are even times when I just give a noncommittal answer like "I don't care" when I do or "I'm Fine" when I'm not. So, I've really been trying to give an honest answer, even if he seems like it doesn't matter. When asked how I am, I'll say "pretty good" or "tired, but good" or "I feel like crap". Seems small, but it has made a difference. Untruths can be a burden. 

Honestly (ha), I've always been one to hold things back. Keeper of secrets. Shy to a fault when I was younger. Only spoke when necessary. I've come out of that a lot, but there are still times when I hold back. And it sucks. It's just a part of my character. Breaking through that is difficult, but the more honest I am, the lighter that burden gets. 

So that is my new resolve. To be honest. How honest are you, truthfully?