Friday, January 31, 2014
I like to think that I'm capable of anything I set my mind to. My own insecurities and occasional negative mentality is what usually stops me. I'm trying to give myself more credit these days, though. I can do it. I just need a challenge. A little push.
I've proven my negative thoughts wrong on many occasions and I'm so glad that I have.
"I could never do that."
"I don't have the strength or the will power."
"I don't know how."
"What will others think of me?"
"What if I fail?"
So what if I do? So what if I fail? Not trying is so much worse because then I always wonder.
I'm more sure of what I'm capable of these days because I've tried. I've done well, I've done not-so-well, and in many ways I'm still learning and growing. But I just don't want to be too afraid to try anymore.
Do you ever tell yourself those things? Does it keep you from taking that step?
I hope not. I hope your inner self is kinder. And I want you to know that YOU can do it. It bums me out when awesome people say "I could never do that". Yes, you could. I KNOW you could. It may not be easy. It may take time. The result may not be what you expected, but a lot of times that's a good thing. You may surprise yourself.
I know I have.
I can write every day for a month just to prove that I can.
I can do yoga in public, not just in the privacy of my own living room.
I can go out and meet people who I might have dismissed in the past.
I can go to a foreign country for the first time. (England! 4 days!)
I can put myself out there and occasionally get shot down (still working on that one in a more recent manner).
I can let go of things that are good for things that are greater.
I've found things and projects and causes that are worth it.
I've discovered so much to be passionate about.
Make it matter. Let it in. It can be done.
More to come... (which will hopefully put this post in context) :)
Tuesday, January 07, 2014
Yeah, yeah. It's been a while. My words, all of them, were being used elsewhere for the month of November, which I will explain later. And then the holidays and BAM. Here we are. January.
So. It's a new year and stuff. Pretty smooth transition, actually. My New Year's was pretty much uneventful, but eventful often tires me out, so that's okay with me.
Let's reflect, shall we? I vaguely remembered writing a blog post in early 2013 about some improvements and goals I had in mind for the year, so I read through it and....I kinda think I might have sort of accomplished them all in a way? Granted, there were only 5, but still. Here's how it went down:
1. Move out----> Done! : )
2. Start my Own Business---> Done...ish. There is still a lot to take care of to make it official.
3. Accept Myself---> That's an ongoing project, but there has been significant progress this year.
4. Eat Healthier and Exercise Regularly----> I have actually done pretty well with this.
5. Letting Go---> Again, an ongoing project, but progress occurred.
I had forgotten all about that post, so I'm feeling pretty good about the progress I made. So let's do it again, huh? Here we go in no particular order.
1. Finish my NaNo story (explained below).
2. Get more serious about yoga, possibly including *GASP* doing it in public. Scary.
3. Get more involved in my ward. Oy.
4. Make a serious dent in my To Be Read pile. And attempt to not add to it. Heh.
5. Change my hair. Something different, just for fun. Haven't decided on what.
6. Make my business official and kick it into high gear.
7. Take control of my finances.
8. GO TO ENGLAND. IT'S HAPPENING. YES. :D
9. Do something in regards to my dating life. Which may involve actually trying to meet people.
10. Simplify. Read "The Joy of Less" and get rid of unnecessary stuff.
Yeah, I decided to up the ante a bit. Trying to push myself a little more. : )
But seriously, looking back, I did a lot of things that I wasn't sure I could do in the last year. Here's a few of those things, some of which have been mentioned above but I'll elaborate a bit:
-move out of my parents' house and move into my own apartment, which I LOVE. I've truly been able to make it my home. Even renewed my lease for another year.
-discovered that dairy no longer loved me like I loved it and we finally parted ways, which led me to....
-becoming fully awake, allowing compassion to be my guide, and became Vegan. Cheese really was the only thing in my way. I mentioned that I was leaning toward going vegan in my last year's resolution of eating healthier, but that darn cheese. Once it started to make me really sick, that was the push I needed. And you know what? I don't even miss cheese. Seriously. Really. I love love LOVE being vegan. One of my best decisions ever!
-drove to Berkley, CA, with my younger sisters to see MUMFORD & SONS IN CONCERT!!! One of the best nights of my life! It was truly incredible and I can't even describe how great those 4 men are at playing music. Loooooove them.
Don't mind the photobomber. She asked for the pic
so I sent it to her. People are weird.
BEST. CONCERT. EVER.
-went swimming in the ocean for the first time and then consequently got sand EVERYWHERE and ended up with quite possibly the worst sunburn of my life. Not awesome.
-kept up with yoga, practicing just at home 3 or 4 times a week, and I've really improved. It feels SO good and I really notice a difference when I go a few days without. Related note, I was looking at yoga pins on Pinterest and poses to help a person do the splits caught my eye. That has never been my goal in yoga, but I recognized a lot of poses that I already do regularly. And you know what? I tried it. I can almost do the splits. WHAT. I have NEVER been able to do that. Ever. And that's without even trying. Whoop! : )
-participated in National Novel Writing Month, aka NaNoWriMo, aka NaNo. Meaning I wrote 50,000 words in the shape of a manuscript for a novel all in the month of November. It was pretty nuts and like I mentioned, it took ALL my words. No more words for blogging. But it was a great experience and proved to myself that I can do it, when pushed. I didn't finish my story, and honestly, I haven't written a word for it since the 30th of November. SO. MANY. WORDS. Wow. But I won! I did it! Proof:
-bought a Christmas tree of my very own! I prefer real ones, although the vegan side of me wonders if it's wasteful. It smells amazing in my apartment, though! And the tree industry is actually sustainable, so. ; )
-became more DIY and self-sustaining by doing things myself! Like making my own bread, pan spray, and almond milk, also buying in bulk and cooking at home 95% of the time to save money. I'm also trying to grow a balcony garden, although my avocado and celery plants are currently living inside right now cause it's friggin' FREEZING outside.
Left is celery, right is avocado.
-tried so many new foods, it's insane! Many people think being vegan is limiting, but it's really not. You just have to get a little more creative, and I love a challenge! : )
-plan a trip to ENGLAND AND WALES that is happening in exactly a month!! A few more details to secure, but my passport is on its way! YES!! I'm so stoked. :D
Well, it's getting late and I'm starting to lose my train of thought, so I better wrap it up. Turns out 2013 was a pretty great year for me. A lot of growth and learning.