Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Sky is Falling!!

I have a very active imagination, mixed in with a generous amount of paranoia. I always have. When I was younger, maybe 12, my parents would leave me to look after my younger sisters for a few hours occasionally. They would give me a time, say 9 pm, when they would probably be home. I was totally fine the whole evening, unless they happen to not be home on or before 9. Then, all bets are off. My mind ran wild with irrational thoughts like, maybe they were in an accident or there was a plane that hit the building they were in. Maybe they were held hostage in a robbery or ANYTHING that could go wrong outside the safety of home I would imagine was going on. They always came back, clearly, and my fears were always calmed, but every once in a while I will still get fear that something is amiss. This usually happened really late at night while everyone else was asleep. I could SWEAR that someone was trying to get in through my window. Once, I even had my dad check it. Each time this happened, I would like awake, extremely still, trying not to alert these invisible "robbers", and listen for any sound that would prove my theory correct. I even thought that someone was in the basement. I tried to find a makeshift weapon (a steel wire brush, in this case) and searched the basement, then the whole house and all the locks and windows. I then proceeded to take that weapon with me to bed. I swear, I just need to by my own baseball bat just for my sanity.

Wow, this really makes me sound like a nut job, huh? See, this is why I don't divulge these kinds of fears. I swear they've got a padded cell just waiting for me somewhere. There is an actually reason for these frobbery fears. We were robbed before, though never at night. Somehow they did it during the day and got away with it. How is that possible? I'll never know. My brother's Jeep was also broken into and because he was in Iraq and no one drove it, it wasn't noticed for at least a week. This kind of crap does happen, unfortunately.

Anywho, there is a point for this background story. I have been recently working at a bakery in a Reams in Layton. So I get to work at 6 am (oh, the horror, the horror!) and notice that no one is there. My boss, Mark, usually shows up around 5 am to get things jump started. This particular morning, however, it looked like all the breads, donuts, and rolls were already done. Curious. I looked around everywhere for Mark or anyone, but not a soul was in sight. Not even the people who cut up the meat next to the bakery (p.s. there is a whole other world going on behind the scenes of Reams that I had no idea about. Crasazy!). So, I just started doing dishes that were left from yesterday. In the back of my mind, however, I had this illogical thought that maybe all the other employees were being held hostage somewhere in the store and I just barely missed the guys with guns taking people away. It totally burst my horrid thought bubble, though, when I was one of the employees walking past. Yup. I'm just nuts. Another bakery employee showed up about 6:30 and she found a note on the counter from Mark that he had worked through the night so he could get other things done during the day. I completely missed the note because of my unnecessary panic. Moron! I totally need to get my head examined.

p.s. I also had another crazy thought, though almost as scary, that my married boss was having an affair with the 65-year-old Hispanic bakery employee and they were hiding in the walk-in fridge waiting for me to leave so they could come out. I AM ABSOLUTELY NUTS!!!!!! Seriously. Also, not a pretty image.....

p.p.s. Christmas music is meant to get you in the spirit and make you all merry and stuff, right? Ahem, yeah. Listening to countless bad versions of once-loved Christmas songs 8 hours a day for 5 days actually has the opposite effect. It's made me very Grinch-like and crabby. Just thinking about it makes me want to flog EVERY SINGLE ARTIST who made me listen to their stupid songs. If I hear "The Christmas Song" one more time, I'm gonna hurl, scream and viciously attack the singer simultaneously. Won't THAT be a pretty sight. Ick.

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