Sick of Being A Fall-back Friend

What is wrong with me? No, actually, what is wrong with THEM!!!?!!? How do I always end up being the backup friend? I stand by as they have fun with other people until they get hurt or disappointed then they come crawling back to me. Every time, I welcome them back with open arms. Of course I'm pissed. They never know though. I just bottle up all the anger until they come back and by then I decide it doesn't really matter. I don't blow up, I don't freak out, I just let it go. So here I sit. Watching a slightly inappropriate episode of Sex and the City and listening to Melissa Ethridge. I should be studying for my 9am final, but I'm not. How sad is it that I can't talk to them about it. Heck, I won't even write this where they can read this. Some form of venting helps though, on some level. Sing it, Melissa!